Rick's bday and the Mandalay Bay Shooting

 Rick's bday Sept 29 :) Kids and I had him open 

presents and eat cake :)

 Then on Sept 29 on his bday I surprised him with Imagine Dragons

tickets I've had since May! It was hard to keep it a secret and of

course the week of the concert he tried to buy tickets ( eye roll)

so I had to tell him. He was pretty surprised. We went to Sake Sushi

where they dance and it was pretty good sushi and the concert was

at the T- Mobile Arena and we had awesome seats!

 look how close!

 my mom was out of town so Grandpa B had the kids for the

night and took them to his fancy houses he's building and to Outback

They had a blast and got spoiled!

 Mia who already thinks she's going to own several

mansions was like oh $3 million, ya I can do that!

 

They had too much fun with grandpa and Rick had a great bday

 So that was Friday night and then Sunday we didn't have 

church so we went to Mt. Charleston and did a pretty hefty

hike, too hefty for the kids and then Rick ended up carrying Oak!

 so funny!

 finally at the top!

 

 So that hike was in the afternoon on Sunday, and at 10:20pm

Rick and I were woken to all of his phones going off

as soon as I heard his voice, I knew it wasn't an average call out, 

there were mass bodies including police officers, as he was getting ready to leave

in the closet, I had an overwhelming feeling to tell him to see if Brady Cook was ok

Brady I had in third grade had just graduated. His mom and dad set Rick and I up on

our blind date and she works with me at Darnell, she's been Mia's teacher and she did not

want Brady to be a police officer. He said ok I will check and he left. 

I could not sleep. 

I listened to the police radio

I watched live videos from the news

I waited

and waited

and then Rick called 2 hours later to tell me 

I wouldn't believe this but the only police officer 

who was in critical condition was Brady Cook! 

I wanted to be shocked but I had never felt the premonition I had felt about him

in the closet ( this was before they realized other police officers were shot and one dead) 

I texted Brady's mom all night and anyone else who was awake on facebook 

I cried alot

Then Rick came home not Monday but 1 am Tuesday after 

leaving the house Sunday night at 10:20.

I went to work with not one hour of sleep

I had kids in my class gone 

I had kids crying about what had happened

It was now up to 50 dead. 

I barely talked to Rick and when he came home

he burst into tears, I felt so bad and I wanted him

to answer questions but he didn't want to talk 

and it was so hard. The whole week was a blur. I didn't get 

to stay home and rest, I had to teach and have a full time job 

with obligations and kids to get to school, I was late every day,

I cried more than once every day, and I barely saw Rick,

My mother in law luckily picked Kellan up from school that week,

my dad came and got the kids when I was a walking zombie, 

and I just kept going 

and so did Rick

He was so guilty he couldn't save people,  

so he was determined to figure out WHY and do whatever it took

to do that.

I have to go back to Rick's new job in the FBI office

he's in counterterrorism, JTTF squad and every single

night since he has been in that position, he goes to sleep, tries to 

sleep worried that something like this is going to happen, it's his 

job to make sure it doesn't which is crazy, but those guys feel

the responsibility every single day and he's aged a lot in the last 6 months.

After a week, some of the world forgot about what happened 

but in our house it felt like it was replaying every single night that Rick

came back through the door after 16 hour days and we were 

mourning it over and over again.

 He was crying in his sleep, he was loosing weight,

 I couldn't complain that I hadn't seen 

my husband and had to keep the house and kids and work going

, people were DEAD.

ALOT of people, just gone, so fast,

 it honestly still feels like a dream

And Rick's guilt, I was feeling it too, 

After 11 years having a husband who is a cop, unless

you are in it, you just don't know. No words can even explain 

but you wear the burden EVERY DAY.

A week after, they wanted some of Metro to go to a hockey game,

he didn't want to, he wasn't ready to, he tried to give the tickets to his

whole squad, but I told him we should go, 

so we did.. 

I will tell you I was so stressed, looking up at every building,

I was just there a week earlier for the concert on Rick's bday

I wasn't ready either, but when I saw the snipers on the rooftops

and SWAT everywhere, I felt better. The tribute was beautiful,

everyone cried, 

everyone stood for the Anthem

everyone did 58 moments of silence

everyone stood together

 and I got Rick to smile

It didn't stop there, they still didn't have answers, 

Rick continued to work long hours, I was mourning

and having a really hard time. Rick sent me flowers during week 2 

even though he was exhausted and emotional and drained, he wanted

to help me through my pain because that's who he is

He also sent flowers to survivors in the hospital

and continued to try to do anything to help me at home even 

though he physically wasn't there to help with kids. 

and we all know Kellan he decided to have a major cold

with constant bloody noses

then he randomly got bit 10 times and had a weird 

reaction to something at a ranch and went into an asthma attack when Rick and

I met eachother at a restaurant, so we had to leave, not eat our food but

Rick still had this overwhelming feeling to pay for this elderly lady next to us.

So we did.

 and Mia had a planned field trip where Rick was going to chaperone, 

I told him to cancel but he didn't want to break her heart so he showed up

from work wearing his earpiece but he stayed and made it work

 and even though he had to work the weekends, we ran to 

Gilcrease super early on a Sunday for a total of 20 minutes,

took the worst fall pics but we did it 

and then he headed back to work

 and now fast forward to day 22 since the Mandalay Bay shooting

we have Rick back, his first weekend off,

and that's not my point, I don't need to hear that other

people work more or less or we should be grateful that 

he has a job or I have a job, it was a hard hard 22 days for us

It felt like people in our families died

I can't explain it

It brought us closer too

And no matter what Rick always found a minute or a second to 

be with his family through it.

I decided to start a project where my school collected cards for

first responders and the victims. Here are a few of us 

supporting Metro and Vegas Strong

 I put together 8 baskets to take to 3 police stations, firestations

and UMC to the nurses and to the victims. We were able to get Cane's gift cards with every single card.

The kids came too

If you ever feel sad or helpless, serve others

You will never regret it

It will help you through ANYTHING 

I promise

 

the kids even got to see SWAT's workout area, and the firehouse on the strip 

took them on a full tour. And they both told me how awesome and good they felt to

give the candy and cards to everyone. 

The one police officer who died was off duty enjoying the concert

His wife found a letter he put on the computer

that he apparently wrote a year ago titled

" When I die" She shared it at his funeral on Friday.

It's scary to think this could happen anytime and anywhere 

It makes you wonder if we all need one of those letters.